190/183/130

Back down to 183 (as of Wednesday), although I'm not sure how. I'm still not being really good. Hopefully, I can at least maintain it, if I'm not losing more just yet.

I'm getting some Rhodiola Rosea to try to help with my mood and energy level. Its due to arve on Monday so we'll soon see whether its going to help or not. I'm just hoping to avoid having to take anti-depressants again. I took them for post partum depression, for about 4 months. Then I was jaw clenching and I read that Zoloft can have that as a side effect.... so I quit taking it. My mood was much improved even with out it, until my personal issues here a few weeks ago. Now I just can't seem to get out of the dumps :(

Anyway... still determined to get to 130 eventually. It just may be slower going than I originally planned.

190/185/130

See... I told you the numbers this week would be ugly!

I am struggling today.... I just want to eat everything in site :(
At 11am, I'd guesstimate that I'm already nearing 500 calories. And I haven't even had lunch yet :(

Its my state of mind. I've been stressed out the past couple weeks. At first it made me avoid food but now its making me want to eat it all. I really need to improve my mood so I can stop struggling.

I'll keep plodding along today though. I need to get back into the swing of things so this will get easier again.

I am determined!

190/183/130

Well this was supposed to be posted last Wednesday but I've just had a really bad week. Trust me... wait until you see tomorrows numbers :(
I'm not going to stress about it though... tomorrow I'm back to working hard at this. I will accomplish this!

190/186/130

Well, this should have been posted yesterday as that was my 'official' weekly weigh in but a lot of crap is going on around here and I was barely even on the computer.

On a happy note, am glad to report that I am down 4 pounds for the week. I hope I can keep this up.

Right now I am in a fragile emotional state and dealing with some personal issues, which I think is actually making it easier to eat less. I just hope things improve and I hope, as they do, I can stay motivated. My weight is only one aspect of my life that needs improvement apparently but its still quite important to me.

So, I'm pleased to say I have made it through week 1 and it wasn't as hard as I thought it might be, even with life's stressors trying to knock me down. (Although I am having a bit of a difficult time getting the exercise in... I will work on that).

I'm pretty confident now that I can do this.
My goal for this week will be to lose another 2 lbs. I will be pleased with any movement in the downward direction but 2 pounds will be my official goal. Oh, and to get on the elliptical AT LEAST 3 times. Wish me luck :)

Day 7

Well, I slipped up a bit this weekend.
Saturday was Kai's birthday and Sunday was a birthday party for my cousin's daughter.
So, needless to say, there was a lot of FOOD about, tempting me.

I didn't let myself lose control completely but I wasn't as careful as I could've been. And, I've only done the elliptical 3x so far. I have plans to get on there today which will make it 4x for the week so not too bad but I was hoping to get in 5.

I'm also dealing with some issues that caused me not to get enough sleep the past few nights so that isn't helping. Lack of sleep means lack of motivation and energy.... which is exactly why I didn't wind up on the elliptical yesterday. However, I got a little bit more sleep last night and although I cannot say I am overly energetic today, I am going to force myself on there when Avy goes down for her nap... I know I'll be glad I did.

Anyway, the scale is still being nice to me.. but its not official until tomorrow. We shall see!

So far, so good!

Well I am on Day 3 here and still going strong. I ended the past two days within my 1600 goal. I've used the elliptical both days for 15 minutes. And, the scale is aready being nice to me! I would LOVE to see a large loss this first week to keep me motivated. And by large I mean like 4 lbs... not some outrageous number like you see on The Biggest Loser! I just don't get how they are losing so much weight week after week. Its one thing to drop a large number of pounds the first week or two but after that, I just don't get it! I thought that if you lose more than a pound or two in a week, you're losing lean body mass, not fat. But, on TBL, they lose double digits in a week! Of course, I also know that if you weigh 350lbs to start, you're going to lose a lot more at first but I guess I just didn't realize it could be quite THAT much and still be healthy! Of course, if I had a personal trainer and nutritionist working with me, I might lose a little more quickly too ;)

So... on to the rest of Day 3. I'm still feeling determined. I have had my moments of weakness but I'm not letting them drag me down. I can do this!!

190/190/130

Well there it is... My official starting weight is 190lbs! Ouch! :(

And today is D Day... offical start to my new healthier life!

As I stated in my last post, my first short term goal is to hit 170's by my birthday... 9 weeks from today. And my long term goal is to get into the 130's by the new year. My final goal is to be around 130lbs but we'll see about that as I get closer. I don't want to be unrealistic so if I have to struggle to get that low, I'll be happy as long as I'm in the 130's. And, if it should be easier than I think, perhaps I'll aim even lower. Only time will tell. For now, I concentrate on the 170s!

So far today I've had Special K for breakfast with a half a banana and 2 cups of tea. Hopefully I can keep the control and make it through the afternoon (my rough time!).

Wish me luck!!